Day 57

WEIGH IN: 140.2

Times a flying’ by and I’m getting no where!!  Again, I’m repeating myself – over and over again.  If I can hold out this weekend…and I can – I’ve got this.  I know I can do this.  Once I’m over this little tiny hump…

I’m trying to stay out of the kitchen, however, I did make some banana chocolate chip muffins for the girls this morning.  I have some bananas going back and that happened to show up on my feed…perfect timing!  And I’m resisting, so it’s all good.  I’ll be busy today working in the basement, hopefully working some calories off as well, running up and down the stairs and moving and lifting.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day today!


Day 60/60

WEIGH IN: 145.9 lbs.

I have seen the 130’s, even if only for a couple days.  I want to start eating from that bowl.  This morning, after a weekend of intense drinking combined with eating loads of sugar and fat, I am unhappy to report that I gained back every ounce I lost in the last 20 days or so.  Go me!  I could kick myself.  I’m down to 2 months exactly.  It’s do or don’t do today.  I’m hoping that a lot of that weight (at least about 3 lbs. of it is sodium related) and that tomorrow, I’ll be a bit less.  Today, I’m going to meet my goals for the day plus some.  I’m going to spend about an hour on the computer catching up and then I’m springing into action!!  The next 2 months I’m out of the kitchen…don’t care what comes about, there are no holidays, no birthdays, no special occasions to speak of, so other than your basic meals, I’m done for 60 days.  My goal is to lose at least 15 lbs. in the next 2 months.  That’s 7.5 lbs. per month.  I’ve GOT THIS SHIT!  I CAN AND WILL DO THIS!!

Today’s Goals:

  1. Eat properly: Todays menu will be limited, only protein & vegetables today with a couple good for me fats.
  2. Drink 8 glasses of water to flush out the crap I inhaled yesterday.
  3. One hour of core & cardio = 10-12,000 steps
  4. Clean at least one room in the basement out – gather for yard sale
  5. Read one chapter, at least
  6. *Work on trip details

Today’s going to be a great day!!


Day 80

Weight: 145.2

Honestly, if I NEVER see the number 145 again I’ll be happy!  I’m over these numbers, big time.  Today I’ve spent re-vamping my “diet”, since what I’m doing simply isn’t working and obviously I’m not following what I’m doing either.  I’m going to have to become extremely vigilant.  I’m going to continue my journaling here and making goals for each day, but I’m changed my menu considerably!


This is the chart I will use as a guide and truly, I haven’t been following it for a while.  I’m really up on my starches & fats, and eating a lot of sushi & stuff I shouldn’t be.  I’ve been shortcutting myself terribly.  This method only works if I actually FOLLOW it.  Time is quickly flying by til summer vacation and to lose a few more pounds would just be the cat’s meow!  I’m NOT losing – I’m maintaining and it’s making me crazy!  Time to step it up a notch!

Today’s goals:

  1. Drink 6-8 glasses of water
  2. To finish the day out using the guide to do so
  3. To journal
  4. To take my vitamins
  5. Make my dentist appointment
  6. 30 minutes of exercise at minimum

Have a wonderful Wednesday all!

Playing Catch Up

April 22: Day 84: Weight: 146

April 23: Day 83: Weight: 145.7

April 24: Day 82: Weight: 147.2

April 25: Day 81: Weight: 145.9

Hello, just dancing around my BMA!  I was a week late!  Thought for sure I was in menopause…nope.  FML.  Anyway…

…so this is how the last few days have gone.  It was a fairly busy weekend, soccer, washing cars and mowing the grass.  It was productive but every night that food crazed maniac that lives inside me would rear its ugly head and there I’d go.  Eating everything I shouldn’t and then some.  But yesterday I vowed to do better and I did.  I made it to the end of the day with simply a balanced dinner.  I did it and I felt accomplished.  Tonight I plan on doing the same.  Simply eating (no grazing) a meal with my family and not eating again until tomorrow.  This will be what moves me forward or stops me cold in my tracks.  I’m praying for strength and to show up Thursday with something lost…I’ll take a pound!  

Day 85

WEIGHT: 144.3

Working my way back down and I’m super excited.  I can feel myself in the 130’s and I can “taste” it, for lack of a better term.  😉  This morning I was going to forgo my workout to mow the lawn.  However, I took the dog out to go potty and WOWZA, it’s freezing out there!  The last few days have been beautiful and now, we’re back to winter.  I told the better half I took my sweatshirt out of the car yesterday thinking, “oh I won’t be needing THIS anymore this year”, and low and behold we wake up this morning and have to turn the heat on!  Eeek!

Yesterday went very well.  I managed to eat a lot of sushi which made me happy!  And today, I believe I will do the same!  Yesterday’s goals were to:

1. Write my food down on PAPER and eat accordingly, which I did fairly well until the evening.
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water (done)
3. Take my vitamins (done)
4. Get in 30 minutes of exercise and 10,000-12,000 steps (done plus!)
5. Journal (done)
6. Healthcare search for a friend (done)
7. Read at least one chapter (done)
8. Work on vacation binder (done)
9. DO NOT GRAZE OR EAT DINNER UNTIL EVERYONE SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE! – this was the only one I didn’t do as well as I wanted to.  I wound up eating a chicken leg and not really sitting down until half way through dinner.  But at least I didn’t eat throughout making dinner as I usually do.  I’m going to have to work on this.     

Day 5 Goals:

1. Write my food down on paper, eat accordingly
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water
3. Take my vitamins (done)
4. Get in 30 minutes of exercise and 10,000 -12,000 steps
5. Journal (done)
6. Read at least one chapter (done)
7. One thing off my to do list (done) (Called my agent to find out how much it would be to add my daughter to my insurance – an increase of about $1000 per year!! YIKES!!)
8. Make good choices tonight! No snacking after dinner, no more than 10 oz. wine. – again the difficult one.  It’s Friday, the beginning of the weekend and the day I begin gaining everything I’ve lost.  I’m not going to do that this weekend.  I’m going to lose MORE over the weekend.  I’m going to have some sushi for dinner and some wine.  No dessert.  I’d rather have the sushi anyway.

Have a wonderful Friday everyone!  Make all your goals come true this weekend!!

Day 86

WEIGHT: 145.3

I’m really surprised I showed that much of a loss considering I ate those damn Biscuits & Gravy Lay’s. That woman should have kept that idea to herself!  LOL  I love those stupid things.  Anyway, yesterday went really well and I know that today is going to go equally as well!  I really could have exercised this morning, I can’t lie.  But I wanted to make sure I did everything else including cleaning up around here.  I am 100% going to make sure I get in that 30 minutes though, even if it cuts into my lazy evening time.

The better half asked if I’d pick up lunch for the guys at work, so I agreed to do that and it’s a trek across town.  They eat at 11 and the place opens at 10:30, so I have to hightail it and I can’t be late.  And I haven’t been over to that side of town in a while, so why not.  I’ll probably stop by Staples and Dress Barn – I always thought that was a HORRIBLE name for a woman’s clothing store, especially one that caters to overweight people.  How cruel is it to refer to a barn when buying a dress?  I didn’t say inaccurate, I just said cruel.  Oh well, whatever.

Day 4 Goals:

1. Write my food down and eat accordingly – working on it!
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water – 4 down already
3. Take my vitamins (done already)
4. Get in 30 minutes of exercise and 10,000-12,000 steps
5. Journal (done already)
6. Healthcare search for a friend (done already)
7. Read at least one chapter (done already)
8. Work on vacation binder (done already)

I should have no problem obtaining these today…#9 will be the MOST difficult and it’s at the most critical time of the day.  The stress hour begins – 3 p.m., every weekday.  Wish me luck!

Day 87

WEIGHT: 146.5

Well at least it’s coming off fairly quickly.  But the weekend is coming up quickly too and like I said before, as long as it’s quiet I’m good.  It’s not quiet on the weekends, so I need to start planning NOW for the weekend.  Weekends are critical for me, as is any time after 3 p.m. when everyone comes home and it’s time to have dinner on the table.  Weekends are also when I gain all the weight that I’ve lost over the week, back.  I MUST combat that and make sure that STOPS immediately.  THIS has been my downfall.

I didn’t have a chance to write this morning, but yesterday went very well.  Instead of walking the puppy, we wound up taking a bike ride, which was ok; I probably didn’t burn as many calories, but I was at least still active.  And I didn’t read since I fell asleep before that could happen.  I’m so tired at night and so happy to be horizontal!  For some reason I didn’t sleep too well.  I kept waking up from nightmares, must have been that spicy tuna poke!!  Today’s goals were to:
1. Log my meals and eat accordingly. (I did cheat a little bit tonight – a serving of those stupid biscuits and gravy Lays I bought today)
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water (I managed to get those in already)
3. Take my vitamins (done)
4. Get in 30 minutes of exercise and 10,000-12,000 steps (done and an additional 30 min. of core exercises done)
5. Journal (working on this now)
6. Office Depot to return items that didn’t work (done)
7. Begin reading tonight! Already read one chapter today so done!

I’ve done fairly well today, I struggled with really wanting a glass of wine, but I manage to work through that.  Tomorrow I HAVE to work on eating through cooking dinner.  I’ve basically stopped sitting at the table and just wind up grazing all the way through dinner.  Tomorrow we are having chicken, so I will SIT at the table and eat a regular meal and not graze from 3 p.m. through the dinner hour!

I already my Day 4 goals ready to go!  Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day!  Have a great one!


Day 88

WEIGHT: 147.1

Yesterday I managed to complete all of my goals.  For the next 88 days my goals won’t change too dramatically and I’m feeling good about that.  I know I can do this, I have faith in myself – that I won’t disappoint myself.

Day 2 Goals:
1. Log my meals and eat accordingly
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water
3. Take my vitamins
4. Get in at least 30 minutes of exercise and 10,000-12,000 steps
5. Journal
6. Walk the neighborhood with our pup!
7. Office Depot for printer ink and planner for vacation!
8. Begin reading tonight!

I also received my new tupperware yesterday.  This morning I made some sugar free jello in my jello molds and I made some breakfast bars in the snack bar maker!  I love kitchen stuff!  So fun – it’s like totally traditional June Cleaver stuff! ♥️

Have a great day all!

Day 89

WEIGHT: 150.2

You know what is the easiest thing in the world to do?!?  GAIN WEIGHT!  Holy SHIT!  WTF is up with that!?  I weighed myself this morning and guess what number I saw?!?  150.2!!  Ugh.

In a matter of three weeks, I managed to gain every bit of the weight I lost last month right back.  Am I surprised, nope, I’m really not.  Sabotage.  I seem to know that word intimately.  And I have NO ONE to blame but myself.

I’m in three challenges right now, one of which is void as there’s only a week left, the other one started the 3rd of this month and I did one day of the exercise so I’m not in that one either.  I’ve just joined one on MFP and it runs for three months.  It started today and runs through the 15th of July – just in time for our summer vacation!

I’m going to focus on small goals.  Every day, for the next 88 days I will post my goals for the day and my weight.  I just want to finish this out and stop whatever this is creeping in and “making” me eat and not exercise.

So far, today’s been great.  I’ve eaten good for me food and I’m back in this…although I’m tired, I’m motivated.

Lord give me strength to do this for the next 89 days, no matter what comes my way.

Day 1 Goals:
1. Log my meals and eat accordingly.
2. Drink 6 glasses of water.
3. Take my vitamins
4. Get in at least 30 minutes of exercise.
5. Journal.
6. Finish the laundry!
7. Health food store!

April Fool’s

I don’t particularly care for the word Fool, it’s kinda creepy, but foolish fits the description of my actions the last few days.  I was down – down to 141 something, let’s say 141.9.  Four days ago, my BMA started going haywire like they like to do once a month and boom – I’ve eaten my way right back to 145!  Again, as if I haven’t said it a million times already, I’m so disappointed in myself.  I swear, the 150’s and the 140’s have been so difficult to get through and out of!

Today is a lazy day for us as the kids will be going back to school Monday after a two week spring break, I think I need to get back into some soul searching. Studying and reading about more reasons why I become SO overjoyed at the thought I’m losing so quickly and consistently and then I eat my way right back to where I started, all the while KNOWING what I’m doing.  As I ate an entire bag of popcorn, a 1/2 pint of Halo Top ice cream, a few sugar free peanut butter cups AND a Lenny & Larry’s chocolate chip cookie last night while watching movies, I kept thinking…I’m gonna feel like shit after this (which I did – and still do), chest pains, guilt from eating, disappointment in my choices and my rationalization for doing so.  I said to myself, “don’t do this, you’re gonna regret it” and I said, “oh, shut up” and here I am regretting it tenfold!

Motivational quotes, MFP message boards, IG #fitfam photos are great a lot of the time to keep me in control and moving forward, but there are some times (like the last 4 days) where that’s just not enough to keep me going in the right direction.  This out of control behavior habit is the LAST thing that I need to break to get out of this preconditioned notion that I can’t get through my BMA without eating the house down!  Next month, I”m going to combat it with everything I have.  I can’t afford not to.  Anyone have any ideas to stop that “oh what the hell” feeling cold in it’s tracks?  I’m SOOO over it!