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It’s been a rough few months. I’m just not focusing on getting the job done. I took a look back to January this morning, I’ve lost a half a pound. From the 1st of January to May 1st, I’ve gained and lost the same 10 lbs. It’s quite disconcerting and extremely frustrating.

Too many drinks, too much sugar, little or no exercise and no resistance to any craving. The weight’s come back (as flab) with a vengeance. I’m bouncy and soft again. Not exactly the look and feel I was hoping for. But here we are, a product of my own slacking.

I was talking to myself this morning and thinking what got me to this point – again. I think it boils down to being obsessed with weight loss and results. When I was focused on it every day and absorbed in it, it was on the forefront of my mind constantly. Then, it wasn’t. I lost my focus and my obsession, the passion faded and I ate my way back to where I am now. No where near where I wanted to be. I have less than a year to hit my goal. If I don’t start and stay focused, I don’t think I’ll ever get there. I think the defeatist attitude with rear its ugly head and I’ll forever be – almost reaching my goal weight. And I really don’t want that.

Today was a good day. I exercised, I ate right, I took my vitamins and drank my water. I want to keep the momentum, I want to keep going. I want to be in th 140’s by June 9th. It’s worth the obsession.

Today’s Meals:

B: coffee with fat free hazelnut creamer, 1/2 banana, Dannon light & fit peach yogurt, egg, avocado, parmesan cheese, onions, Jane’s Crazy Salt, broccoli, tomatoes, a mini cucumber and Opa blue cheese

D: Sour cream pork chops, new potatoes and green beans

S: Dannon Greek Toasted Coconut Yogurt, sugar free cool whip and a 1/2 pkg. chia seeds


I’ve had a goal for the last 4 years now and it’s been to arrive at a weight that is no longer classified as overweight but as healthy.  In the past four years, the closest I’ve been to that weight was 11.7 pounds away, I weighed 137.7 and that was 9 months ago.  Today I am 26.8 pounds away from my goal weight of 126 and I weigh 152.8 pounds.

Clearly I am not going about this properly and I am definitely not getting closer to my goal.  I was reading the other day about when we don’t reach the goals we set for ourselves it can be more damaging than one things so – today – again – I’m revamping how I go about obtaining my goal, which is still the same as it has been in the previous 4+ years.

Write my goals down.

Be consistent.

Schedule mini steps to my goal and revamp if necessary after a certain period of time



Back in the Game

Looks like I’m back in the running!  Promptly marched right back up to around 161 lbs.  which was a huge EEK moment!  Pants not fitting, fat flapping around again…yeah, wasn’t working for me.  So as hundreds of past resolutions I’ve committed to,  I decided once again to resolve to lose this weight, that went from a measly few pounds to now 30 lbs. still to lose!  But so far, so good.  I’m down 2.2 lbs. this week and I was down 6.8 lbs. last month, so I’m doing it!  I’m going slow and I’m burning off what I’m eating.  I eat about 1200 calories per day and burning at least 2200 calories per day according to my Fitbit.  I’m trying for at least a 1.5 lb. loss per week.  I think I’m finally understanding the numbers part of this whole weight loss thing.

Plus I’m really “trying” to become more mindful of what I’m eating, and if I’m eating out of stress or boredom and focusing on the here and now, amazingly there is a learning curve.  It’s not the easiest thing in the world to be present all the time.  I find myself wandering and becoming preoccupied a lot!  But I’m motivated, I’m energized and I’m going for it.  Trying to get ready for spring break and looking forward to once again being able to fit comfortably in my clothing!  And screw this shit this coming fall, I ain’t losing this weight like this over and over every year.  I’m gonna lose this weight and keep it off cuz this is bullshit!  Just sayin’.