Back in the Game

Looks like I’m back in the running!  Promptly marched right back up to around 161 lbs.  which was a huge EEK moment!  Pants not fitting, fat flapping around again…yeah, wasn’t working for me.  So as hundreds of past resolutions I’ve committed to,  I decided once again to resolve to lose this weight, that went from a measly few pounds to now 30 lbs. still to lose!  But so far, so good.  I’m down 2.2 lbs. this week and I was down 6.8 lbs. last month, so I’m doing it!  I’m going slow and I’m burning off what I’m eating.  I eat about 1200 calories per day and burning at least 2200 calories per day according to my Fitbit.  I’m trying for at least a 1.5 lb. loss per week.  I think I’m finally understanding the numbers part of this whole weight loss thing.

Plus I’m really “trying” to become more mindful of what I’m eating, and if I’m eating out of stress or boredom and focusing on the here and now, amazingly there is a learning curve.  It’s not the easiest thing in the world to be present all the time.  I find myself wandering and becoming preoccupied a lot!  But I’m motivated, I’m energized and I’m going for it.  Trying to get ready for spring break and looking forward to once again being able to fit comfortably in my clothing!  And screw this shit this coming fall, I ain’t losing this weight like this over and over every year.  I’m gonna lose this weight and keep it off cuz this is bullshit!  Just sayin’.



Here we go into 2018, full force! I have cleaned out the freezer, the fridge and the cabinets – pretty much only the wine and cheese are left! Did my 30 minutes on the elliptical but really had to push myself. Made New Year’s Day dinner and it was pretty good, heavy on the sodium content but good all the same. Tomorrow will be another great day!!



Holy cow! According to our weather it’s -7* this morning and the high today will be 10*! Insane, really. Today I am tired. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep for about an hour. I finally fell back to sleep, but 4:30 was way too early this morning. Since yesterday went so well, I’m praying that today will be another exceptional day. I stepped on the the scale first thing this morning and I was a whopping 156.1 lbs. I’ll take it. That’s a 3 lb. loss and even though it’s not fat, it’s a start. I’m under the 20 lbs. gained mark so that’s a plus! Gotta find those positives!!

This morning, I’ve broken out my Instant Pot and my air fryer. Everyone’s received one or the other this Christmas so I’m inspired! I’ll let you know what I come up with!

I’ll update later! Have a great day!

Update: Day went well but made doughnuts in the air fryer for the kids. Happy to report that I did NOT eat any of them! Lazed around on the couch today and watched TV with the kids so no exercise and didn’t get my steps in, but I did well with my eating today so that’s a win.

B: 1 egg with mozzarella cheese, onions, mushrooms & spinach, yogurt and mandarin orange.

L: Chicken salad, yellow pepper with Opa blue cheese and crispy onions.

S: Cheese stick.

D: Chicken wonton soup (no wontons), 2 oz. turkey kielbasa sausage, riced Italian cheese cauliflower with 2 T. mozzarella cheese.

Heavy L

Hey! Merry day after Christmas!! I’ve managed to gain a shit ton of weight in the last 6 months!! This morning I stepped on my scale and it read 159.1 (my lowest was 137.7, that’s a 21.4 gain!!) Ugh!!

As of this morning, the holidays are over and I am taming the feast beast. This foolishness has to stop. I have no clothes and I feel like 💩! The fat is back jiggling like crazy…yeah – got to go – not happy with myself at all! I’m so uncomfortable!! It’s amazing what changes take place when I gain, I think I’ve said this before but wow! My breathing gets worse (I’m assuming because of the fat that’s pushing on my lungs!), the places that the fat pops out first – the back of my arms, butt, hips, thighs, stomach makes everything uncomfortable! I’m so over it. I HATE being fat. I HATE it and I HATE that I like food that causes me to gain fat! Grrrr. But – I’ve got this. I can do this. I will report back later – accountability for the next 20 lbs. at least!! Here we go, wish me luck!

Update: So today went well. I did manage 30 minutes on the elliptical and I ate fairly well. Did have some prime rib, probably more than I should have but I won’t for another year probably so…I’ll just have to do an hour on the elliptical tomorrow. All in all I would call today a success. Hope you day was as well.

B: Berry smoothie & boiled egg

L: Chicken salad, Opa blue cheese, green peppers, crispy onions & mandarins

D: Prime rib, steamed asparagus, green beans, mushrooms & onions.

S: 2 sugar free jellos with fat free cool whip dollops!

Guilt & Gain

For months now I haven’t been feeling the love, which in turn equals the complete neglect of myself.  I’ve been overeating all the goodies; carbs, fats, sweets, wine, fast food, and not exercising – at all.  These two things make for an extremely disgruntled, unpleasant (read grouchy) person.  Funny thing is, people (the better half and the kids) notice it!  “You’re much happier when you take time out for yourself, exercise and eat properly.”  REALLY!?  Hmm, go figure.

We took Christmas photos a few nights ago and after seeing myself coupled with the fact that my pants are squeezing the life out of me, I know it’s time to reel myself back in PDQ.  If I keep going like I have been, I’ll be back up to 200 lbs. in no time.  The most frightening part of gaining this weight back is how sluggish I am and how quickly the fat blows up.  I know that fat cells don’t ever go away, they simply just shrink when you lose weight.  And me, when I eat whatever my little heart desires, I blow up just like a puffer fish!  It’s pretty scary!  I really didn’t realize how much weight and how much fat I’d lost until I started gaining it back!  I was like wow, where in the hell did all that come from!?!

I’ve known for a couple months now that I’ve needed to refocus.  I re-created my diet notebook with new pages and then last week I decided to recommit to an exercise routine.  Sadly, that almost killed me.  Squats basically rendered me unable to walk and then I apparently sprained my foot stepping down off the ladder after putting up Christmas decorations.  The intention was there, it just didn’t work out as planned.  Today is my first day back to exercise and low and behold I’m getting ready to start baking – cookies, cakes, sweets for Christmas gifts & giveaways!   I suppose it’s best I recommit today and admit my limitations than go into this with wild abandon and eat until I blow up even more.  I have a list, I have some goals and I have some other options so I’m hoping that for at least the next week I can enjoy my “normal” Christmas traditions without too much guilt and absolutely no gain.  I’ll keep you posted.


Pullin’ It Together

Last night I weighed myself, this morning I did not.  Yesterday, after shoveling in chocolate cupcakes that I made, I weighed in at a whopping 155 lbs..  I realize that I don’t weigh 155 (yet), but man that’s disconcerting.  I’ve done such a horrible job of taking care of myself recently, I’ve all but abandoned every good thing I’ve changed in the last 3 1/2  years!  I hate that I’m doing this to myself, I feel so out of control.  Not sure why this is an issue, I would assume stress.   And certainly NOT taking care of myself is making the situation and the stress worse.

Today I’m heading back to my roots – checklists…some semblance of control and responsibility!  Got to reign myself back in!

  1. Eat within my dietary guidelines for weight loss.
  2. Drink 8-10 glasses of water
  3. 10,000-12,000 steps
  4. 45 minutes of exercise
  5. Take all my vitamins
  6. Journal
  7. Write down everything I eat and prepare for the next meal
  8. Complete one task today that’s on my to do list

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Weighing My Options

So today’s my drinkin’ day…question is, do I or don’t I? If I do, I don’t want to undo my progress from the last couple days, if I don’t…well then I don’t and that’s probably the road I need to take. But ya know, after dealing with f—–‘ at&t, grocery shopping and not being able to do what I want…yeah I think I’ll have a drink – one…to take the edge off life. Today was a win in the weigh in department. Here’s hoping for wins all week long!

Update: I didn’t have the wine.

The Hunger Games

I felt really good this morning after weighing.  I even “feel” lighter and I have no desires to overeat or eat the things that I’ve been eating recently.  Must be because I’m actually eating decent food!  Bizarre!  For dessert last night, I had “peanut butter banana ice cream” – a banana with a tablespoon of PB2 in the food processor, chopped up until it turns into the consistency of ice cream.  I love it!  Just like ice cream, you really couldn’t tell the difference if you didn’t know.

Today’s eating has been really good too.  I’ve eaten a lot of fruit and vegetables and I’m not hungry.  I’ve been concentrating on my recipes and my food lists today and keeping my mind busy.  I didn’t exercise, I plan on working that in next week.  I need to master this eating thing this weekend.  I’ve already come up with a few good recipes that should keep me on track.  I’m excited about this recipe book and being able to keep all my recipes in one spot.  I’m looking forward to a great weekend!


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Today’s breakfast: mini peppers, Opa blue cheese, wasa bread with a mixture of spring onions, avocado and ricotta cheese with yellow tomatoes!  Delicious!!  

On Your Mark

Time to regroup, I am not doing well – at all.  My pants are tight, my skin is loose, I’m feeling “fat” and I’m falling back into seriously bad eating habits.  Not good!

In July, I weighed in at my lowest weight ever, 137.7, holy cow, wow and hallelujah!!  But it was way too short lived.  I was hanging between 145 and 139 respectively and my metabolism was apparently working well since I was losing consistently.  Fast forward through our summer vacation, no real exercise to speak of, missed out on the 5K I so desperately wanted to do, eating, drinking – bread, ice cream, fries, pina coladas, wine, etc., all the things I limit to lose weight.  After 2 weeks of vacation, I had only gained about 11 pounds (although saying that actually makes me crazy since 11 pound is A LOT of weight to gain in 2 weeks).  I realize that if I had just gone back to my regular eating and exercise regime, it would have long gone by now.  But here we are.

Once home, I came down with a sinus infection and everything bad to eat, sounded so good; doughnuts, pizza, McDonald’s, macaroni & cheese…you know, comfort foods, things that when you eat them make you full and cozy and make you want to fall asleep!  And because I was really sick (6 medications, a nebulizer treatment plus an antibiotic shot and a steroid shot) I ate with abandon!  It was good at the time, but now I’m paying for it.  So all of August and all of September I’ve basically just gone crazy with my eating.  I MUST get back to doing the things I know work.  Lately I’ve been baking and making a lot of food that is fattening – baked potato soup, blueberry muffins, you name it!  And I just can’t keep going like I’m going.  I will be 160 before I know it and I’ll have to buy a whole new wardrobe!  I can not do that for multiple reasons!

Today I’m rededicating myself to my weight loss.  I’m going to get where I want to be…hopefully sooner than later!


It’s a Match

Today was a good day. Although I pretty much sat on my duff all day, I did fit in my hour of elliptical before having to cook dinner and caught up on my social media and now both my blogs!  And other than the one glass of wine I had for “lunch”, I stayed within my exchanges and made good choices. I gained 12 lbs. while on vacation and I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things for a couple weeks now but it’s been difficult. Greasy cheeseburgers, doughnuts, chips, you name it…if it’s bad for me, I’ve eaten it. No excuses as to why, I wanted it and I allowed myself to eat it. And now I feel it, my stomach, my arms, my hips, all show the gain. <sigh> Time to get back in the game and get all this back off. Preferably before February!!  Here’s to beginning again!